Mood shift.

This gets a bit whiny. Sorry. It was my intent to share my thoughts and feelings in this blog space on a regular basis without dwelling too much on negative thoughts and feelings. That is partly because recently I have noticed a big shift in my perceptions of Irontraining from one of dread to one of excitement, enjoyment, and enthusiasm over the Journey, where it is taking me, and who it is helping me become. But here, today, I whine. If you dare, keep reading....it does get better.

...........

E mentioned yesterday that I hadn't updated the blog recently. Well....I really didn't have much to say! He did a good job or recapping our busy, fun weekend. And then I went back to work and got busy with work-life-training, which really makes for a pretty boring read.

Well, yesterday, things got a bit more exciting. For some unknown reason, I was grumpy. It started in the morning, loading the car for swimming. Things (bikes, wheels, pumps, gear bags) all seemed to not want to cooperate. Hrumpf.

The swim was hard. It was a beautiful morning, but my body was STILL tired and a tad sore from Sunday. The swim helped straighten some of that out, but I also got worked and worked hard by my lanemates. They did not seem to be suffering much, but on the tighter stuff I was barely holding onto the interval. Mostly touch the wall and go on to the next one. Again. And again......and again! I was making the times, but no rest.

At the same time, the sun was rising. The sky was clear, the pool was clean. And I was swimming normal pace or faster, so I knew it would be a good day in the natural progression of progress, but still.

I was grumpy.

And tired.

And sore.

I knew half my battle for this swim was mental. I needed to get over the fact that I hurt in odd places and that I was significantly slower than some of my lanemates, and just get down to the business of getting in the best possible workout I could do right now. I needed to let go of the negative thoughts, the self doubt, the side of me that was trying to make excuses for not trying as hard and swimming slower. I knew that was what I needed to do, yet I still struggled in getting it done. I do know that not all was lost, but I also had a hard time completely turning my mind around to the point where I could achieve the maximum benefit for my efforts.

I left thinking what's wrong with me?

After work we had a tough session of bike intervals, on a steep, steep hill (Sugarloaf). This workout was similar to something we did a few weeks ago, but was now broken up inot a few shorter efforts.

Again, I mentally struggled riding on the dirt part of the Boulder Creek Path (in my defense, the dirt was extra loose and sandy yesterday). I was looking forward to the climb, but a little intimidated by the sheer magnitude of the climb in front of me. In the end, I got a good workout in, physically, but again I dropped the ball on the mental side of the effort. It was our one intense-but-short bike of the week. The kind you need to show up prepared for similarly to how you would prep for a race. Game face on. Lots of good self talk. Full of confidence.

And...I....well, I just didn't do it. Physically I was there, riding the hill, grinding away, keep the heart rate and watts close to what they should be. But mentally....the hill won yesterday.

So, this put me into another funk. And a whole new round of what's wrong with me?

I could hear my imagined Marit voice (I've never met her) imitating my imagined Jen Harrison voice (never met her, either) saying get over your bad self but I was stuck and couldn't seem to do it.

E tried to help. He said he was proud of me. That I had climbed well. That it was a tough workout. Still didn't get me out of the funk.

Our transition run helped a little. It was short and sassy. It was supposed to hurt. It was over fast and there was not time for getting distracted by the negativities I was harboring.

Then on to dinner and a little R&R, including a chat with Sunny. That helped, but I still felt like a sour puss, a little black rain cloud, etc.

Luckily, this morning I woke to a mood shift. A big one. "Normal Amber" has returned....rejoice! (Yeah, it was that bad!)

Not sure where this new mood came from or why the change was so dramatic. In fact, I'm really not sure where my bad mood came from, either. But it was almost like a change in the weather this morning. No more "thunderstorms" with big black clouds, thunder and lightning. Nope. Today I'm all sunshine!

Our easy run (or maybe a jog?) went well. It was another beautiful morning, but today I was able to see it in all its glory. Then a short spin in to work. My legs were burning, then transitioned into feeling like lead bricks. It didn't matter. The birds were singing, the roads were clear, the air crisp. Good morning. Good mood. Let's hope it lasts!

-A

...